1. |
Woodpecker
02:36
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Woodpecker - Words by David Fair
Listen to the woodpecker's
one note song
I can hear him working
pokin' all day long x2
woodpecker woodpecker
works so hard
there's a hard wood pecker
poking in my yard
I can hear him work it
he's just bangin' away
he must rest all night
I hear him poke all day
If he starts to droop
He'll take a breath and rally
Hard poking' more holes
than a man can tally
woodpecker woodpecker
works so hard
there's a hard wood pecker
poking in my yard
To some other birds
He's just a cold home wrecker
He pokes so many holes
He needs to rest his pecker
You should see him work it
It's a crazy sight
He can poke a new hole
With his eyes shut tight
woodpecker woodpecker
works so hard
there's a hard wood pecker
poking in my yard
"Give it a rest now"
His new bride smirked
You're a good drillin' daddy
but your pecker's overworked
woodpecker woodpecker
works so hard
there's a hard wood pecker
poking in my yard
Listen to the woodpecker's
one note song
I can hear him working
pokin' all day long x2
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2. |
Up To My Ass In Diamonds
02:35
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Up to My Ass in Diamonds - words by David Fair
I came to town poor
I'll stay until I turn rich
I arrived dirt poor
I'll stay til I'm stinkin rich
My middle name's Lucky
I'm a fortunate son of a bitch
There's no real reason
That I should work so hard
No reason I know
That I should work so hard
Rich wife'll bring my drink to
my hammock in her backyard
I'll drink my coffee
With my pinky up in the air
I'll drink my coffee
With my finger high in the air
Then I'll dunk my doughnut
Like a stuck up millionaire
I'll dress for dinner
With a brand new suit and tie
Dress up for dinner
Every night with a suit and a tie
Then the maid will bring me
Another slice of key lime pie
I'll stick my pinky up
with every bite I chew
In fact, I'll be so rich
I'll tell you what I'll do
I'll make my butler stick his
pinky finger up there, too
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3. |
Tight Like That
02:24
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4. |
Gigaloing Daddy
03:53
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Gigoloin' Daddy - words by David Fair
I'm a gigolo-in' daddy
Tom-cattin' round your town
I'm a gigolo-in' daddy
and I'm cattin' all around your town
Show me 45 dollars and I'll turn your world upside down
I'm a workin man, mama
You know I must get paid
I work for my money
Mama I must get paid
Layin down on the job
is how my money's made
I'm a gigoloin' daddy
I make my money late at night
I'm a gigoloin' daddy
I make my money late each night
I make all my money by making you feel alright
We'll start out slow
Then we'll soon pick up the pace
We'll start out slow
Pretty soon pick up the pace
I'll put a kink in your back
And a smile up on your face
Leave me money on the dresser
I won't kiss and tell
Leave my money on the dresser
I will not kiss and tell
I'm a gigoloin' daddy
Pleasure is what I sell
Let's get busy
roll over, I'll scratch your itch
We'll get filthy busy
Roll over, let me scratch your itch
I'll get filthy with you
While I get filthy rich
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5. |
Feels So Good
02:12
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6. |
Do the Monkey Around
02:24
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DO THE MONKEY AROUND -words by David Fair
I’ve got some sexy moves that you can’t resist
Like a half drunk monkey doin’ the Peppermint Twist
I can Mashed Potato and the Boogaloo
When I get you alone I’ll monkey ‘round with you
Do the Monkey Around
We’ll Do the Monkey Around
Everything old is gonna seem brand new
When I do my Monkey Around with you
I’ll shake my business ways you’ve never seen
Like a jello mold on a trampoline
We’re gonna do the Pony and Watusi too
When I get you alone I’ll monkey ‘round with you
Do the Monkey Around
We’ll Do the Monkey Around
Everything old
Is gonna seem brand new
When I do my Monkey Around
with you
We’ll shake it like your sister shakes her jelly roll
We’ll work it like your mama on a stripper pole
Your daddy does the Tug and the Dirty Dog too
Let’s head on home, I’ll monkey ‘round with you
Do the Monkey Around
We’ll do the Monkey Around
Everything old is gonna seem brand new
When I do my Monkey Around with you
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7. |
Shake Your Hips
03:35
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8. |
Pipeliner Blues
02:43
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9. |
Sit Down on It
02:09
|
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SIT DOWN ON IT - words by David Fair
You can sit down on it
SIT DOWN ON IT
You can sit down on it
SIT DOWN ON IT
You can sit down on it
or shake it like it’s meant to shake
Booty like that is a
Gift to mankind
You’ve got a great big heart
And a big behind
You can sit down on it
SIT DOWN ON IT
You can sit down on it
SIT DOWN ON IT
You can sit down on it
or shake it like it’s meant to shake
The booty’s so fine
It makes me weak in the knees
Already got a good look
I’d like to get a good squeeze
You can sit down on it
SIT DOWN ON IT
You can sit down on it
SIT DOWN ON IT
You can sit down on it
or shake it like it’s meant to shake
I was sittin in the bar
I’d just had my last sip
When you first strolled by
I did a double back flip
You can sit down on it
SIT DOWN ON IT
You can sit down on it
SIT DOWN ON IT
You can sit down on it
or shake it like it’s meant to shake
You caught me staring
I’ve got no excuse
I mean, I like the train
Oh, but I love the caboose
You can sit down on it
SIT DOWN ON IT
You can sit down on it
SIT DOWN ON IT
You can sit down on it
or shake it like it’s meant to shake
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10. |
Bang Away my LuLu
02:54
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11. |
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I’LL KEEP YOU BUSY (WORKIN’ TIL YOUR HUSBAND GET’S HOME) - words by David Fair
I’ll do like the Romans
When I’m in Rome
I’ll keep you busy
Til your husband gets home
I’ll take his place
Til ‘bout half past five
When we hear his car
Rattling up the drive
I’ll keep you busy
KEEP YOU BUSY
I’ll keep you busy
MAKE YOU DIZZY
i’ll Keep you busy
WORKING TIL YOUR HUSBAND GETS HOME
Then I’ll gather my clothes
And my common sense
Slide out your back door
And slip over your fence
i can sniff out danger
when there’s trouble near
so i’ll hide in the shadows til
the coast is clear
And I’ll keep you busy
KEEP YOU BUSY
I’ll keep you busy
MAKE YOU DIZZY
i’ll Keep you busy
WORKING TIL YOUR HUSBAND GETS HOME
If he comes home from work
A little early instead
i’ll just slip in the closet
or else under the bed
Then tomorrow mornin’
about a quarter to ten
When I know he’s at work
We’ll get to work again
I’ll keep you busy
KEEP YOU BUSY
I’ll keep you busy
MAKE YOU DIZZY
i’ll Keep you busy
WORKING TIL YOUR HUSBAND GETS HOME
C’mon, let’s work let’s work until your husband gets home
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12. |
Butcher Pete
03:15
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13. |
Diddy Wah Diddy
02:29
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14. |
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15. |
Zipper Won't Budge
02:36
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ZIPPER WON’T BUDGE - words by David Fair
I was ‘bout to get lucky
But I’m all out of luck
I was ready to go
But my zipper got stuck
My zipper got stuck
My zipper got stuck
Instead of gettin’ lucky
I developed a grudge
I was ‘bout to get lucky
but my zipper won’t budge
We really thought that we would be
Goin’ to town
But we can’t, if I can’t
Get my zipper down
Get my zipper down
Get my zipper down
Pour some more coffee
In my cup
We can’t do squat with my
Zipper stuck up
I’m a big boy
I don’t wanna cry
But I’m sheddin’ tears
About a broken fly
About a broken fly
About a broken fly
I’ll dry these tears
From my cryin’ eye
Then give this zipper
Just one last try
I tug and tug
On the son of a gun
I’m making no progress
And having no fun
Having no fun
I’m having no fun
That zipper was as stuck-up
as a snooty man
It wrecked my evening
When it spoiled my plan
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16. |
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17. |
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NUTS FOR SALE -words by David Fair
I sell my nuts by the bag full
I got the best nuts around
My nut-sack's overloaded
Hell, it's draggin' on the ground
Hot nuts! Hot nuts!
Hot Nuts? Yes indeed!
Hot nuts! Hot nuts!
I got all the nuts you need
The girls call out "Hey, Nut Man !"
Meet me round the back
I gotta get my hands on your sweet nuts,
Pull out your big nut-sack
Hot nuts! Hot nuts!
Hot Nuts? Yes indeed!
Hot nuts! Hot nuts!
I got all the nuts you need
Lady hollered "Mister Nut Man,
I'm beggin' on my knees
I'd like to take you home with me
And give your nuts a squeeze
Hot nuts! Hot nuts!
Hot Nuts? Yes indeed!
Hot nuts! Hot nuts!
I got all the nuts you need
When you finally see my nuts
You're apt to drop your jaw
I got the gol darned biggest nuts
Anybody ever saw
Hot nuts! Hot nuts!
Hot Nuts? Yes indeed!
Hot nuts! Hot nuts!
I got all the nuts you need
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